Thank you for bearing with my absence last week, I hope all of you felt a significant void from not hearing my wedding words of truth last Monday— obviously I am sure you did…
Regardless, I am back in action and ready to take the world by storm with my fifth blog– (Woo, I’m at 5!!! So proud). And for this weeks topic, I wanted to discuss an important and essential part of any wedding planning process— your family.
After just spending a week with mine at our family cabin in Kelowna, B.C., with no power for 5 days due to a crazy forest fire nearby—we really got to know each other again… (aka fought like cats and dogs but then laughed like crazy after a few spiked ciders and rounds of Cards Against Humanity in the pitch dark of the electricity-free evenings we spent together)…
I vowed when I started this blog that I would write about my experiences week-to-week as a bride planning my own wedding, but with a dash of professional wedding planner sprinkled in there– So since this past week was all ‘mia famiglia’ (I am marrying an Italian, bear with me here)—here are my thoughts on including these annoying, amazing, thoughtful, and ridiculous people in planning for your big day:
Siblings/future siblings in-law:
I have these two girlfriends who are these hilarious and amazing sisters who do everything together. The older one recently got engaged, but when discussing the details of the wedding, the younger one always refers to it as ‘our wedding’. I absolutely love it when she refers to her sister’s big day as if its her own. It’s not in a creepy way, its in a sincere love kind of way for her phenomenal older sister and her fiancé.
I think that the same can be said for my sister and I, she recently told me (granted, after a few glasses of wine) that she would drop anything for me if I needed help planning the wedding—she persistently said that I came before everything else in her life, which made me feel super special and loved.
As for future siblings-in-law, it is my sincere and honest hope that you get along with yours, but if say, you haven’t even met them—try to make the effort to get to know them through this process. If they live out of town maybe take a quick trip with your fiancé to hang out in their city, if they live in town take them out to dinner, or send them funny snapchats or instagram meme’s. Let them know you are excited to become a part of their clan and include them in the process!
Since I hope most siblings feel the same way as the ones I have described above, I think it is awesome if you can include them as much as they want to be included—to make them feel as important as they are. The obvious call is giving them the nod as a bridesmaid or groomsman, but other ways they can be included are by asking for their assistance with vendor selection—is your brother a budding DJ-wannabe who knows all the great ‘spin masters’ in the area? Ask for his recommendations. Is your sister a graphic designer (like mine)?? Ask for her help in picking fonts or designing your invites. Maybe your future brother-in-law wants to plan the stag-and-doe or give you guys an amazing toast at your wedding reception. Do what you can to keep these people involved in the process— so that on your big day, they have as much fun as you do.
In the majority of cases, these fine people (who spent the greater part of their lives making sure you didn’t cross the road without looking both ways; who took you to your ungodly-hour hockey or cheerleading practices; or who spent the greater part of your high school weekends staring at their bedside clocks, agonizing until they heard your ‘completely sober’ self stumble in their bedroom to give them a goodnight kiss) will be fronting at least some of the bill for this lavish occasion celebrating your love. Throw them a bone.
Yes, they are likely driving you nuts in some way or another (per usual), but they love you so much they want to do everything they can to help this day get put together. Let them come along to vendor meetings, take them on movie/dinner dates, ask their advice on food or décor, invite them on a roadtrip or to a fitting— make sure to spend time with them during your engagement to thank them for all they have done for you to make you the fabulous person you are today.
Extended family/family-in laws
Dillon and I are LUCKY to have such thoughtful, caring, generous, and hilarious extended family. Your aunts, uncles, and older cousins likely gave you your first sip of beer—so why not visit with them more than usual, write them extra thank-you cards for the kind gifts they send during the engagement, ask them to be your reception MC or do a reading during the ceremony.
The more you can do to show your families how much you care during the months leading up to your big day—the better. As much as this day is about the two of you, your family members will spend a lot of money and time to be with you both during not only your wedding day, but for any showers, engagement parties, or dress fittings. Show them a little extra TLC!
We’re lucky to have people that care about us at all (especially since they know us at our WORST) so embrace these weirdo, fantastic, and crazy beings and include them in this once-in-a-lifetime process!
Have a great week… and until next time…